kristen (beekept) wrote in fuck_slc,
kristen
beekept
fuck_slc

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hello and welcome?

yeah. we've got new people. feel free to vent about the school. try to keep things in perspective somewhat, even though that's not what venting/ranting is about. plus I'm not really going to impose rules, except for trolling, I won't tolerate that shit. the existence of this community has caused me way more strife than I care to think about. so any obnoxious bullshit posts or comments and/or those making PERSONAL ATTACKS on others are gonna get deleted.

I had a shit experience at health services today. don't you love how therapists can have you all figured out after talking to you for a half hour? and the way you can speak to two of them separately who are both working on your case, but they won't communicate to each other and you therefore have to repeat yourself, which just further postpones the actual therapy? yeah, that's great.

it was like he wasn't listening, like he didn't believe me. and when people don't believe me, I stop believing myself - I just feel like a fucking crazy freak.
I'm isolated and I have deep-seated insecurities because I've had problems drinking for four or five years. not because the first fifteen years of my life were hell. no.

anyway, maybe I'm just too skeptical for any of this to work for me. just because I'm a failure doesn't mean standard mental health procedure is a failure. nor does it mean that the school is a failure.
but it seems like I should be able to get some kind of help. yeah?
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Let me fucking guess - was this Stephen?
yep! stephen. oh dear. I barely know what I was talking about in this post, but I do know I was angry at stephen. he must really have had an impact on me.

flashback city. how are you? I'm a dropout. disregard what I say. I just saw PORN N CHICKEN on tv. sarah lawrence is a beautiful place. full of porn, and chicken.
Yes, I have had my dealings with him, and gotten angry at him plenty too - since I saw him once a week for an entire SEMESTER, for anxiety problems. I would come in hyperventilating about conference work and he would tell me to budget my time, even when I explained to him that it wasn't helping. He was no more help than my parents, who always insisted in high school that I didn't need therapy, just to get out of a town I hated.

I just finished my first year. It was all right; though I'm seriously trying to figure out whether I should keep my theater third or just find something possible and try to focus on it. Oh yes, and my Don is also no help... Linwood Lewis? Bastard. But all else has been OK. Happy to spend break at home in California, pissed at not having a job.

Chicken? SLC? Porn and tofurkey, more likely. (of course, none of it is edible anyway, why make the distinction?)